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PART 13 "Joyce! Is everything okay? Is Buffy.… Please, do come in," Giles babbled, as he moved aside to allow her into his apartment.
"Sorry to barge in. Buffy's fine… she's sleeping. I just– I needed to talk to you. Do you have… do you have some time?"
"Well, yes. Of course. Faith and Olivia – a new Watcher, a *friend* – are out for a run. They should be a few minutes yet. What.… What is it you wished to discuss?"
Joyce began to pace. "I just had a talk with Buffy and she told me… well, she told me about… that *place*. Rupert, she told me…. Dear God…. She told me all of it, both her... captivity, for lack of a better term… and after her rescue. It… Rupert, is there any reason that Buffy needs to be here as the Slayer? Is there any reason why Faith can't handle things?"
"Well, uh…. Technically, no. The Slayer line – the succession – runs through Faith now so Faith *should* be handling things but still, Joyce… the fact remains that Buffy is *a* Slayer and will have a need to slay. There's no way out of that–"
"But still, with Faith here…. I mean, can't Faith be the Slayer, singular? Buffy was alone until...."
"Well, yes. But still, that will not make the urge go away. She will still–"
"Rupert, I'm not asking because I want her to go off to college and get married and have a family. I do… I want her to have all those things, but I'm asking… I'm asking because…." Joyce took a deep breath before continuing. "Buffy…. Rupert, Buffy and Angel have never had my blessing because of their differences: age; life, well, "status" for lack of a term… so many reasons. But in Bethara… she said there are no differences. She– I was in complete denial to think she will ever be the girl she was when she was taken. I doubt she was even the girl I believed her to be *when* she was taken. I just– Rupert, when she spoke about their life together there…. She was happy there… happy in her life with him. I just– I… He makes her happy and in Bethara… they can actually have a life together. In my heart, I think they are staying on Earth out of duty – to me, to you – duties that are misplaced in my case and no longer necessary in yours. Faith– you say Faith is capable and, well–"
"Joyce… Joyce, I have to say that yes, everything you are saying makes sense but are you sure? This is your daughter. Are you sure? Can you… give her up?"
Joyce stopped moving and wiped the tears from her eyes. "I want to say no but really, Rupert, her life…. her life here is over. The Watchers took that away from her but… she can have a life there. I'm not sure if Angel will want to move there permanently but if he is amenable and if she wanted to go, I'd let her go. I have to."
Rupert reached into his pocket and handed her his handkerchief.
"You're doing this a lot these days, aren't you?" Joyce joked tearfully, holding up his handkerchief.
"It seems so," he said, as he wrapped his arms around her and let her cry into his shoulder. "It will be okay, Joyce. It will be okay."
***
"Joyce.…"
Angel stood in the shadows of his doorway in slightly wrinkled black linen pants and a black T-shirt, his hair clearly mussed from sleeping.
"I'm– I'm sorry to have woken you, Angel. Could I come in?"
Angel shook his head as if to clear it. "Of course. Please excuse my manners," he responded, obviously embarrassed. Joyce dismissed his concerns with a wave of her hand.
"No, excuse my own. I would have called but I didn't know your number. Um, shall we sit?"
Again, Angel looked embarrassed, nodded and followed her into the living space. "Of course. I– What can I help you with, Joyce?"
Sitting herself on the couch opposite him, she was struck by the kind, concerned – if wary - look in his eyes. After all the grief she'd given him, he seemed to genuinely care about why she was there…. Yet, it made sense. He loved her daughter.
"I had a long talk with Buffy this morning. About her, uh, experiences in Bethara. I had– Well, I had my suspicions, but I had no idea how bad things were," she said, taking a deep breath and wiping her sudden tears from her eyes. "I… Angel, I wanted to apologize for how I've treated you over the past few months. You are a good man – Buffy, told me all you did to get her back to me safely, even denying your own happiness with her. I'm not sure, honestly, if it were me, if I'd be so generous."
Angel nodded, sheepishly, and looked like he was going to say something yet remained silent.
"I came here to ask you something. About your life in Bethara, after the rescue. Why… Why did you come back? Really?"
Angel studied her for a moment. "Well, I… I knew you were worried and wanted Buffy home to be with you. Also, when I left to go find her, at that point, I didn't know about Faith. None of us did. I thought when Kendra died that the Slayer line ran through Buffy again and I knew…. I knew that as soon as the demon population realized there was no Slayer, things were going to get very ugly here and around the world. Buffy's slaying provides a necessary balance, so, it was important to get her back here."
"Yes, but she's not the only Slayer anymore."
"No. No, she isn't," Angel said, frowning.
"So, why don't you leave?"
"Excuse me? Joyce, I told Buffy I wouldn't leave her and I won't." Angel stood and agitatedly began to pace the room. "Joyce, I'm sorry if you think–"
"Angel," Joyce said, standing and placing a hand on his arm to stop him. "You misunderstand me. I meant why don't *you* leave… both of you? Why don't you go back? I mean, if Faith is the Slayer here and Mr. Giles has confirmed that Faith *is* the official Slayer or whatever you want to call her – why don't you go back?"
"Joyce," Angel said, quietly, looking at her with imploring eyes. "I - It was never my intention to take her away from you. I'd never do that. And, Buffy…. You're not wrong. I agree with you that Buffy should have as normal a life as possible. She deserves all the things you wanted for her: sunlight, a real man who can love her, children. She deserves whatever she wants for herself. I've never disagreed with you on that," he said, rubbing his forehead. Defeated, he sank back down to the couch.
"But… I'm sorry. In Bethara, aren't you practically human? Buffy said that you could be in the sunlight and that you can, uh, make love. Did I misunderstand her?"
"Well, no. No, I can do those things there. But I'm still a demon. Granted, I'm almost human and the demon isn't as present in me… its traits pretty much only leave me with the strength I have now, strength I've used to protect her… but I am still a demon. And… I don't know if I can give her children. I.… We, well, we, uh…."
"Had a lot of sex? I gathered as much. Angel, not to be overly personal, but Hank and I tried for three years before I became pregnant with Buffy. Sometimes it's quick, sometimes it isn't. Are you *sure* you can't give her children there?"
"Well, no. I'm not but…. Well, no I'm not. But, in any case, it's more that that. Bethara…. I don't know what Buffy told you but it's very different from here. In the Tar, I was - for all I know, still am - ruler and that afforded Buffy a lot of freedom but she still has to be guarded. Women there…. It's a primitive, patriarchal society, Joyce. It's very…. Buffy would always have to be under guard there and our children – if we had daughters – would have the same limitations. Yes, Buffy and I can be together but it's not –"
"So, why do you stay?"
"Joyce, what are you getting at, exactly?" Angel said, obviously frustrated. "I don't mean to be rude but…."
"Angel, please. I'm not testing you or trying to be obtuse. I was perhaps unintentionally obtuse in the past but…. All I ever wanted for Buffy, ultimately, was for her to be happy. For me, it was, for better or worse, based on what's given me happiness in my own life: my education, my family, being in love. A doorpost could see that you provide her with all of those things. If you were a human man, I would be ecstatic that she'd found you. You clearly love her and she is crazy about you…. I couldn't ask for a better son-in-law."
"But–"
"No 'but'. I mean, yes, 'but' – you are not human, but it sounds like in Bethara, the fact that you aren't human – technically – is a complete non-issue. Angel, everything I ever wanted for her, you can actually give her there. And if you want to deny her access to that life due to a non-evolved society in terms of women's rights, Buffy isn't the girl who was kidnapped anymore. To her, sadly, the rights she enjoyed when living with you I suspect seemed amazingly, well, broad to her. I just don't think the excuses you give are real… deal-breakers. Not anymore."
"Joyce, still. I'm not–"
Joyce laughed. "You know, you may have been gone a long time but to me this whole debacle started just shy of three months ago. Shortly before you left, I overheard Buffy telling Willow you had a 'worthiness problem'. I'm starting to understand what she meant."
"Excuse me?" Angel said, angrily.
"Angel, you two have the opportunity to have everything you've each ever wanted. The question is: Are you going to allow her the happiness she wants if it means you get to be happy too?"
***
When Joyce returned home, she found Buffy sound asleep and wrapped around Dawn. Her daughter, her beautiful daughter…. It was hard to believe she'd been living almost as many days as Joyce herself. She still looked like a teen physically, but, even in sleep, she looked every inch her 40 years. She was painfully thin – even thinner than when she'd initially returned – with dark smudges under her eyes. Still beautiful but looking oh, so tired.
Still, Joyce drank in the sight of her daughter, in 'her' house, in 'her' own bed. Her beautiful baby whose happiness meant more than anything in the world.
She hoped she wasn't making a mistake.
***
"You right, Joyce. Dis very good. I see why I like before," Buffy enthused, trying to encourage Dawn to try the Chicken Parmigiana her mother had made for dinner.
Dawn frowned at Buffy and took a tiny bite only to make a face and put her fork down.
"Dawn, honey? It's okay if you don't like it," Joyce said kindly. "We have ice cream for dessert and I'm *sure* you'll like that. Buffy, I think I hear a knock at the front door. Can you go?"
Buffy had sensed him three minutes earlier but didn't want to be rude and just leave the table. Bouncing toward the door, she threw it open and flew into Angel's arms.
"Hey!" he said, laughing. "You miss me?"
"Yes!" she said, grabbing him in a hug. "Yes!"
He held her tightly for a moment and then pulled away and stood there smiling at her, brushing her hair behind her ears. "Honey, can I come in?"
"Oh! Sorry. Come in, Engel."
"Joyce!" he addressed her mother who was walking down the hall to meet him. Joyce pulled Angel into a hug as Buffy looked on shocked. "It's good to see you." Pulling away, he was bowled over when Dawn launched herself into his arms, ready for her own hug. "Hey, Dawn."
Dawn smiled beatifically at him.
"Apparently, we're *all* happy to see you, Angel," Joyce joked. "We were just going to have some ice cream. Why don't you two…. You must want to talk a little. Dawn and I will be in the kitchen if you need us. Come on, Dawn. *Ice Cream*!" she said, tickling Dawn back into the kitchen.
Buffy looked warily back at Angel who was holding the door open for her. "Swing?"
Buffy decided to let her mother's bizarre behavior go for the moment and nodded and followed him outside and sat beside him on the porch swing. They rocked in silence for a few minutes, just holding hands, enjoying the night air.
"Buffy, are you happy?"
Buffy looked at him fully. "What you mean? I'm happy now you here," she said. "You happy?"
Angel smiled down at her. "I'm always happy with you," he said, pulling her closer to him. "I wanted to talk to you about that, though."
He explained about Joyce's visit and how she'd suggested they return to Bethara. Buffy was completely shocked.
"She said dis? Dat we could go back?"
"She did. What do you think? We don't have to go, Buffy. If you want to stay here, we can stay here. I'll be okay with whatever you choose. I know it is a major decision. You want to think about it for a few days? Talk to you Mom or Willow about it? Or Giles?"
Buffy turned fully to look at him and rested a hand on his cheek. "I– I don' need to think. I know already what I want. I know dat de past in de Pava was bad. But Bet'ara is my home. Bet'ara is de place I fell in love wit' you again. Despite ever'thing, it's what I want."
Angel pulled her into a punishingly tight hug. "It's what I want too. I miss you, Buffy. And I want us to be together. I love you, more than my own life."
"I love you, too, Engel."
He held her for a moment and said, "I should go talk to Giles. Your mother already knows our decision… or she suspects. I'll come by later and tell you what he says. I love you, Buffy," he said, pulling her close and kissing her soundly for the first time in weeks.
Standing, they smiled at each other and he turned to leave. "Engel, wait! We… we haf to take Dawn wit' us. I can' leave her. I… I can't."
He nodded and briefly kissed her hand and turned to leave.
***
Three days later, Buffy stood in her brown robe, shifting anxiously from foot to foot, staring at the Hellmouth, eagerly awaiting Angel's return from the Tar. At Giles' urging and against Buffy's wishes, Angel had gone through earlier that afternoon to see what had happened to his kingdom during his absence. Borat and Darn had been left in charge of his lands but that had been, Giles and Angel had calculated, almost thirty years earlier. A lot could happen in thirty years. Since Angel's departure, Giles had been driving her crazy... constantly calculating and announcing exactly how long Angel had been gone: two days, two weeks, two months. With each announcement, Buffy's anxiety grew. She wanted to alternately kill Giles for worrying her and kill Angel for taking so long. What was taking him so long?
Finally, a loud crackling noise filled the room, the portal shimmered to life and Angel plunged through. He was tan and a good deal thinner, but didn't seem any more the worse for wear.
"Sorry, love," he said, immediately crossing to her and, mindful of his sword, he pulled her close and held her tightly. "The Meior had decided to annex the Tar for himself. My parn and I... we disabused him of that notion."
"Dri tara'na?" she asked, pulling away from him and searching his face, his body, for injuries.
Using a finger, he lifted her chin and kissed her. "I'm fine, love, and all is well. But we should go quickly. I don't want to leave them alone for too long. The Meior.... I wouldn't put it past him to try again."
She nodded and, as Angel gathered Dawn, she hefted her pack onto her back. It was considerably larger than the one she'd arrived with; Willow had helped Buffy pack and, despite her slayer strength, Buffy was feeling weighed down by her belongings. In addition to her clothing and journal, she had an assortment of jewelry Willow said Angel'd given her, a locket with pictures of her mother and father, a pink pig her mother had said was a favorite, her old Sunnydale journals, and photos of all of her friends.
Taking a deep breath, Buffy looked around at each member of the group – Giles, Faith, Olivia, Willow, Oz, Xander, Cordelia, Joyce. She knew that, despite not knowing them, they all cared deeply about her and she found that during the brief time she'd known them, she'd grown to care about them too. She was going to miss them.
"Thank you, everyone. For you help and support and for accepting dat we need to go back. I am glad… I am lucky you are our friends… our family. I am doubly blessed to haf dat and my life in Bet'ara. We come and visit soon. I promise dat."
Seeing Willow struggling, and failing, not to cry, she crossed over to her and touched her cheek. "Willow, I want to say… When I come here, I not remember you but now I know what you say is true. You are my best friend. I can feel dat. Thank you for helping me wit' my English and for giving me de vampire books," Buffy continued, laughing. "And for caring about me when you did not know me. I will always love you for dat." Buffy pulled Willow into a hug and held her tightly.
"I'll miss you, Buffy. You are my best friend and always will be. Please come back and visit," Willow said, and then whispering, continued. "I have to tell you all about Oz and me, so you have to come back."
Buffy pulled away and smiled devilishly at Willow. "Absolute-elly!"
Angel came up behind Buffy and placed his hands on her shoulders. "We should get going." Buffy leaned back into him and nodded, taking one last look at the group. Kissing her shoulder, Angel pulled away for a moment and turned to Joyce and Willow, who now stood holding hands. Angel pulled two pieces of paper out of his pack and handed one to each of them.
"Don't come through alone. Bring someone – Xander, Giles, Oz – it has to be a male – and come during the day. Bethara is about 5 hours ahead timing wise – plan for it. Ask for the Tar – you both will always be welcome in our home. It would mean the world if you'd visit, Willow. And, Joyce…."
Joyce smiled widely. "Thank you, Angel. It meant the world to be asked and well, you'll see me before you know it."
Buffy ran to Joyce and hugged her hard and kissed her cheek. "Thank you. Mom."
Angel and Buffy stepped back and each put a hand on Dawn's shoulder.
"Prkta nah ta'ehk funul prktoi ya a'she orq na tak…."
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