PART 7

Angel ran out after her, terrified that she would get too far away from him to track. An inch of snow already covered the ground. The wind blew hard, pushing him back toward the rocks. Visibility was practically non-existent.

"Buffy!"

He whirled around squinting hard before returning to the cave and taking the largest burning branch from the fire to use as a torch. He only hoped the wet, sleety snow wouldn't dampen the flame before he'd found her.

Returning outside again, he forced himself to focus on his vampiric ability to sense a Slayer to ascertain where to begin his search. Closing his eyes, he fought to tamp down his panic. He concentrated, hard: Left, she's left of me.

Moving carefully along the outside wall of the cave, knowing he'd need to get her quickly back into shelter once he'd found her, he had gone no more than twenty-five feet when he practically stepped on her.

She lay curled on her side hysterically sobbing, beside a pool of her vomit, her left hand feebly punching the surface of the ground. She looked up at him, her face anguished.

"Why, Angel, why? Oh, God, why? How could they…. How could they do this to me? Why?!"

"Buffy, love, I– I don't know," he said, his voice breaking. "I don't know. I'm so sorry, love. So sorry." Moving the torch around himself, he took note of the location of the outer wall of the cave, and then dropped the log into the snow, grabbing for her before the fire completely burned out.

Picking her up into his arms, he held her close as he backed up and, feeling the rock against his back, moved as quickly as was safe back to the entrance of the cave.

***

She'd cried for hours before slipping into a deep, troubled sleep. He'd held her close to him, wrapping her in his arms, using his body heat to try and keep her warm. He was terrified she would become ill, having been exposed to the bitter, wet cold for even the short time she'd been outside. Their clothing lay by the fire until it was finally dry enough to be put back on. She remained unconscious while he redressed them both. Restoking the fire, he kissed her forehead and pulling her close once again, wrapped them both within the three, rather thin blankets and remained awake all night, guarding her sleeping form.

***

The storm lasted four days. Since their "discussion" of what had happened to her, Buffy had not spoken. To be fair, she'd hardly moved other than to walk slowly towards the mouth of the cave, to where they were relieving themselves in a deep hole he'd dug. Angel had tried kindness, understanding… had tried ordering her… anything to get her to eat but each time he came to her with food, she would merely turn her back on him and go back to sleep.

He was relieved she didn't seem chilled or physically ill from her time in the elements. That said, he knew that once the storm had passed, she'd be too weak for them to continue at the rate they'd been going. And they needed to get out of the mountains as quickly as possible. Now that the blizzards had started, he knew successive storms would come up quickly and he didn't want to be in a position where they weren't able to find adequate shelter. He'd been lucky this time and he knew it.

Realizing he would need all of his strength were he to carry her for most of the journey, he bit into a small piece of Nonka and, upon finishing, moved behind her to sleep.

***

They'd been lucky. Incredibly lucky. After six days in the cave, the snow had melted a bit and he'd packed them up and taking her hand, they'd continued on foot. They'd been farther along the path than he'd originally estimated and he'd pushed himself – carrying her when she could no longer walk. He was greatly relieved that after two nights of sleeping under the oiled V'horot skin, they were finally at a low enough altitude that snow was no longer an issue.

Rather, the main problem was a cold, steady rain.

On their second night out of doors, she'd finally relented and eaten several bites of Nonka. Seeing her renewed interest in food, he was greatly encouraged that she was returning to him until she completely ignored his attempts to talk with her, instead, facing away from him and curling into herself.

He didn't know what to do.

***

There were signs of people before he could see them. Animal blood here, a bit of cloth cast there.

They were in the Tar.

With a hand on her arm, Angel stopped their trek and turned her to face him. Her eyes were glassy and distant.

"Buffy, I need you to focus." He used a finger to raise her face to his. It was as if she didn't see him.

"Buffy," he started, desperately trying to mask the frustration and worry in his voice. "Love, we're in the Tar. I'm gonna…. I'm gonna put the…," he sighed, "I'm gonna put the collar back on you. But it doesn't…."

She stood there, her eyes blank, and he doubted suddenly that she could even understand him. He reached into her pack and removed the collar and reattached it to her, tying the rope to his belt.

No reaction. Swallowing hard, he adjusted his pack, took her hand and led her into the village.

***

It happened when he was negotiating the price of a brenden. Despite her collar and Angel's word that she was indeed his mate - lack of brand notwithstanding – the three large demons he was bargaining with had chosen to fight him for her. They were strong, stronger than Angel for sure.

After severing the rope that connected Buffy to him, they began to fight Angel in earnest. They parried hard for several minutes and, after a lightning fast combination move he'd never seen before, two demons had Angel pinned as a third moved in for the kill. Buffy stood passively, seemingly unaware of the battle until a sword was raised above Angel's throat. Suddenly releasing a wailing scream, she snapped out of her fog and ran to retrieve a large tree branch that lay nearby. She struggled for a moment but got it lifted, smashing it over the stunned-to-frozen, sword-weeling demon's head. Realizing she was a worthy opponent, a second demon released Angel and began to advance on her. Her breath caught in her throat and she was shocked to stillness for a moment. As he reached for her, though, she began to scream animalistically again, and quickly smashed his head and continued to strike him, over and over, using the full force of her human strength to drive him to the ground.

Using his remaining captor's surprise at Buffy's actions to his advantage, Angel quickly gained the upper hand and felled him with his claymore. After decapitating the demon, he carefully approached her.

"Buffy…. "

She was sobbing, she was screaming wildly: "NO! NO!" over and over in Betharan, crazed, continuing to pummel the demon long after it was dead until brain matter began to leak out onto the ground.

"Buffy, it's okay." He said loudly, fighting back his own tears. "Love, you can stop now. He's dead. He can't hurt you. Buffy…."

Coming near her, he saw her become aware of his words… saw her eyes snap to focus on what had just happened. She stilled; her mouth dropped open and her breathing became rapid. Looking in horror at the wood in her hands, she threw it away as if it burned her.

He walked quickly to her and, as her breath hitched with sobs, as she began to hyperventilate, he wrapped his arms tightly around her, murmuring that she was okay, that he loved her… kissing her hair. Mindful of his sword, he gathered her into his arms and led her out of sight around the back of the demons' hut, lowering them both to the ground and gently rocking her, all the while assuring her that she was safe, that he would protect her... that he loved her.

They sat there until she seemed calmer. Angel realized, though, that they needed to leave quickly lest more of the demons' clan came along. He didn't know if she would be able to handle yet another threat in so short a span of time.

Gently helping her up, he placed final kisses to her forehead and mouth and moved to retie her to him. Taking her hand, they retrieved the brenden he had wanted to buy. On the animal they could travel perhaps three times as quickly as on foot, meaning they'd be at the Fortress of the Tar in a few days' time.

"Is that what I was like?" Buffy whispered in Betharan, as he helped her onto the brenden. "When I was the Slayer… on Earth?"

Angel took a deep breath. "No, Buffy. It was… it was different there." Climbing behind her, he grabbed at the reins tied around its head, using one of his arms to hold her close to him.

"Ready to go on?" He asked, kissing the back of her head. At her nod, he continued. "You're going to be okay, Buffy. I promise you. You'll be okay."

***

Six weeks later, Angel wondered if his promise had been in haste. After the fight with the owners of the brenden, Buffy had once again become completely withdrawn, spending most of each day and night asleep in their bed. The few times he'd touched her hand or smoothed her hair, she had allowed it but ultimately she seemed completely disinterested in food, affection, talking… disinterested in life.

He didn't know what to do to help her. After two weeks at the Fortress, she'd seemed to be regressing and he'd sent for a Roff. That had ended incredibly badly. Buffy had gone from completely passive to lashing out like a cornered, wild animal, beating the Roff almost to death until Angel had successfully pulled her off of him.

She'd broken away from Angel and run and locked herself in her wardrobe, remaining there that night and the following day. When he'd finally broken the lock, frightened when she wouldn't respond to his light knocks on the wardrobe door, he'd found her curled like a child, sucking her thumb and staring at nothing.

He'd been terrified.

After several more weeks, he'd had to go back to work but begged off anything that took him farther than the working chamber directly outside their private apartments. The look on her face when he'd left her the first time had been one of abject terror. It broke his heart. He knew that he would do anything to make her better but he also knew that it had to come from her. To push her now…. She needed to know she was in charge of her own life and had the right to her own choices, but what was he supposed to do when weeks passed and she still spent all of her time in their bedroom?

NEXT...


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